All Posts By

Kiiru Macharia

Lifestyle

Flat Manager

Being the caretaker of a set of uptown apartments was not what you pictured yourself to be while in your mid-thirties. But what is life? Options are limited when you score a D+ in your O levels and nobody you know, or who knows you for that matter, is favourably wired in the high places. So the stepbrother to your distant cousin links you up to the landlord of some uptown apartments in Lavington. He is a short bald man who wears chequered untucked shirts and pronounces his name as Mechak. His tongue just cannot bring itself to saying Meshack. So Meshack agrees to pay you some cool 15,000 a month just to wash the apartments’ corridors every morning and to distribute the Garbage Waste bins once a week. And on top of that, he throws in the extra unoccupied bed

Continue Reading

Lifestyle

The Scholarship

23rd August, 2009 | JKIA, Nairobi, Kenya The Departure Bay at the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport can be a tad too crowded, especially on Saturday afternoons. It can also be hot, despite the state – of – the – art air conditioners fanning the Embakasi air up and about. Having lived at the foot of the Aberdare Ranges for nearly all his life, Stevie was not used to these warm temperatures. His white sweatshirt was already drenched at the armpits. The two Kings Collection suitcases he was dragging did not make it any better. He could not wait to get past the security clearance and catch the breeze of the First Class lounge on the Kenya Airways Flight to London. Being the top Student within the borders of the then Nyeri District, he had won himself a fully – funded scholarship at Oxford University to study Philosophy. He had not the slightest clue what Philosophy was or where Oxford was located. All that mattered was that he was finally waving Nyeri goodbye and going abroad, the land of white people and money, as his relatives referred to England. His entire village had escorted him to the airport and sang themselves […]

Continue Reading

Lifestyle

The Date

He had been out of the game for a while. It’s hard for a divorcee to trust again. Especially when the reason you are divorced is that your ex-wife had a thing with your cousin. Shameful, ain’t it? People mumble in hush tones at family gatherings, pointing at your direction. They try not to bring it up, but it’s too hot a topic. Someone just goes, ‘So Joe, have you seen Ben’s new car?’. Ben is your cousin. The cousin that stole your wife and now has your dream car. You shake your head and swallow a bitter lump of saliva. You change the topic to your grandma’s cows. They are doing very well, these Fresians. The oldest one has just given birth and is now producing five gallons of milk every day. You promise yourself to carry some milk back to the city because you no longer have someone to take care of your kitchen supplies. Ben stole her. Ben finally shows up in his new car. A Mercedes 4 Matic. He is received ceremoniously like the millionaire he is. Ben likes this kind of attention. He insists to shake everyone’s hand. He spends a minute longer with others, […]

Continue Reading

Lifestyle

iPhones

I used to own an iPhone. It was black in colour with a stainless metal rim around it. Its back was made of aluminosilicate glass and it was the weight of a Go TV remote Control. If you are familiar with the Apple brand you must have known that that was an iPhone 4S. I was the talk of my entire squad. Man, I was Steve Job’s Brand Ambassador. Anything to do with the Apple brand, I was the guy. You know, jargon such as iTunes, iOs, App Store (Apple’s Google Play Store), iCloud Accounts and Ejectable SIM Card Trays. In fact, I would borrow the ladies one of their earrings to remove my SIM Card for no reason and they would marvel and be glad that their jewelry was compatible with an iPhone. Good times, those were. That was before the Koreans and the Chinese copied the Ejectable Tray. And the Internal battery. And the iconic Home Button. The fellas even copied the name. Yes, Oppo is Chinese for Apple. Go ahead, put on your Chinese accent and try it. I also doubled up as the group camera man. They would pose and wait for me to key in my 4 […]

Continue Reading

Lifestyle

Twedi Fae

So I happened to turn twenty five just the other day. It did not feel like much of a big deal until my mom called. She always remembers my birthday. She was like, ‘I gave birth to you when I was your age.’ Yes, my mother is fifty! And I am half her age. At that very moment, I pictured a fifty –  year old me with a son who is half my age. I’ve always wanted a boy as my first child so that I can name him Macharia. Theo Macharia. Well, Theo already left Arsenal but still I like the sound of the name. It’s also quite short and that way, it won’t pose any problems for him while filling his K.C.P.E credentials. All of a sudden, I felt quite old. I felt tired and my face got tight, probably from all the wrinkles that were busy forming in silence. Memories of younger me started to play in my mind. I remembered all the nice things I had told myself I would have by the time I turned 25. Ambitious young fella, I used to be. A Beach house. A Jet. A beach house with a parking lot […]

Continue Reading

Social Life

What’s In It For You?

One of my favourite quotes is ‘Everything Has a Price’ by Paulo Coelho. Paulo Coelho is an intelligent Brazilian Lyricist, in his early 70s, and his Book, The Alchemist is proof of why we should take his quotes seriously. We will talk about him some other day. Let’s focus on his quote for now. When is the last time someone did something nice for you? You know, like, bought you a gift, took you out for lunch, sent you some money, called  to check up on you, remembered your birthday and the like. The common quality in all these acts is that there is an investment incurred either in terms of time or resources. We are not living in the best of economic times. Time and Resources have become quite scarce in this global economic depression. Therefore, everyone is looking for ways to spend every penny and/or every minute wisely. By wisely, I simply mean spending it in a way that the investment accrues some returns. For instance, this person that came to your mind as you read the above paragraph, how many other people would they have done the same niceties to but did not? I mean, why did they not remember […]

Continue Reading

Uncategorized

The 2nd Annual Global M.I.C.E Summit

The Meetings, Incentive Travel, Conferences and Exhibitions Industry is one of the fastest growing industries in the world. It is also a sector that enjoys a wide diversity of players, ranging from Government Agencies, Airlines, Hotels, Tourism Affiliated practitioners among others. Zuri Events, the leading Business Events Management company in East Africa, has put together the Global MICE Summit in a bid to bring these experts on a platform to address pertinent issues affecting the Business Events Industry. The Conference will be held between 11th & 13th September, 2019 at Trademark Hotel, Nairobi, Kenya. It will attract 200 delegates from the following different industry markets: Professional Conference Organisers (PCOs), Destination Management Companies (DMCs), Hotels, Industry Associations, Tour Operators, Travel Agents, MICE Venues & Tourism Affiliated Government Institutions. Registration for Delegates,Exhibitors & Speakers is open. You may register by clicking this link.There is an early bird registration offer currently running until 31st May, 2019.

Continue Reading

Music

Most Viewed YouTube Videos

A View on YouTube is not easy to come by. One gotta really like what they are watching or they will skip ahead and watch billions of other visual alternatives. So, for a YouTube video to have over 2 billion views, the content must have been really good.  YouTube viewers are estimated to be over 1.3 Billion across the world. They watch over 5 Billion videos every day, from an estimated upload rate of 300 Hours per minute. As at today, mid – March 2019, there are just about 30 videos that have broken the 2 Billion Mark. 2,000,000,000! That’s like a quarter of the world! If on average a video lasts 3 and a half minutes, that’s 7 Billion Minutes of viewership. 117 Million Hours. Almost 5 Million Days or if you like, 13,000 Years of viewership. That’s why only just about 30 internet sensations have been able to hit this mark. Below are the top 10 videos in viewership, in ascending order, as at March 17th, 2019.  Despacito – Luis Fonsi ft Daddy Yankee This Spanish Masterpiece was uploaded in January 2017. In slightly over 2 years, it has garnered 6 Billion views. Funny because only 437 Million People across […]

Continue Reading

Lifestyle

The ‘Me Too’ Syndrome

If you type the words ‘Me Too’ on your Search Engine right now, the top result may be a movement that was created to protest against sexual assault and harassment. The phrase dates back to 2006 during the MySpace era and gained worldwide acclaim in 2017 through Twitter when accusations of sexual harassment against Hollywood Film Producer Harvey Weinstein sprung up. Hollywood actress Alyssa Milano is credited for popularising the hashtag, encouraging other women assaulted by Weinstein and/or other men to share their stories. Away from this movement, there is a syndrome that has been in existence even before Hollywood came into the picture. This syndrome spreads fast and if you’re not vaccinated against it, you may end up wallowing in the unfortunate mob situation of unhealthy, unnecessary and irrelevant competition. This is a syndrome that is fed majorly on the desire to not get left behind in what’s up; even when what’s up really ain’t what’s up. A disease that drives you into desperation and misery in the quest to make as much money as the businessman next – door who seems to be raking in the millions.  Have you gotten sick of hearing the words, “I am a […]

Continue Reading

Featured

ACTIVATE AND MONETIZE YOUR POTENTIAL (Sponsored Ad)

This article is courtesy of a paid partnership with Event Live – The leading events listing platform in Kenya – https://eventlive.co.ke/    We are way into the New Year. You realize that the year is gone by when you see Easter Deals fronting your screens. You definitely must have set some goals at the beginning of the year. How are they coming along? Betty Mwaura can help with this. Betty Mwaura is a life coach, published author, mentor and business consultant. She has provided corporate trainings to dozens of organisations within the country. On the 28th March, she will give an experiential talk on how to master your potential and monetize it to provide you with Financial Freedom. Do you really need this talk? The first thing to consider is the subject matter. Potential. Do you have it? Do you know what yours is? Do you know how to make it make money for you? Practical examples for the targeted audience for this talk are as below: 1. You have potential lying latent and you know it. How to activate that potential is a constant headache for you yet you are desirous of making impact in the world. 2. You […]

Continue Reading