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Flash Fiction

Angie from the Office

‘So how did you two meet?’ she asks. She is pretty. Probably prettier than you. 5 ft 4 with heels on. Spotless skin. Chubby cheeks. A thin waist and an opulent bottom. You can tell from her hairdo that she has a very good fashion sense too. He has mentioned her before. Angie from the office.

10.00 pm on a random Wednesday, cuddling in bed. ‘Stan, who’s calling you at this time?’

He checks his phone. It’s just Angie from the office,’

9.30 am during your tea – break, you call Stan. He answers on the tenth ring, which is rather unusual. ‘Stan, who’s that laughing at the background?’

Just my stupid colleagues

‘Angie?’

Yes. And Jamie. And Keith. And others you haven’t met.’

11.00 am on a Saturday. ‘I’ll call you back later babe, I’m getting into a meeting.

‘With Angie?’

Don’t start,’

Angie from the office. Finally you get to meet her. You’re standing across from each other. It’s Stan’s company’s End of Year Party and after much coercion, (and blackmail), Stan agrees to take you with him. She walks over the moment you arrive. Stan courteously hugs her and you can tell that she is not the one who pulls away first. Stan does. You are one observant mofo. Kinda like living up to your name.

‘Angie, meet my girlfriend, Patience. Patience, my colleague, Angie’ Stan goes.

‘Pleased to meet you. We’ve been together three years’ you brag, eyeing your man as you shake her hand.

‘Oh. Stan never mentioned that part.’ Angie responds.

Of course he didn’t. The bastard. He’ll explain when you get home. Also, who gave her the right to call him Stan. Stan is your word. To others like her, it should be Stanley.

‘Join us at our table,’ Angie offers.

You see how she is looking at Stan. Blatantly staring at him and then shamefully blushing away when Stan locks eyes with her. She has crossed her legs. She’s rubbing her hair. She’s fidgeting in her seat, trying to adjust her top every second. Not much of cleavage to show but what she lacks at the front, she makes up for at the back. Stan has always been a Boobs guy. At least that’s what he tells you. Then there’s how she looks down and swallows a gulp of saliva when she sees you PDA’ing with Stan. She definitely got the hots for him.

You can’t blame her. Stan is one fine gentleman. You know how to choose ’em. Of course you have made a huge contribution to his being that fine but at least you had something to work with. Call it Cute Capital if you like. Now Angie thinks she can just enjoy dividends without investing? No way. You have to put an end to this.

Back to her question, ‘Oh, we met at a V.C.T Facility,’ you respond.

Stan spills his glass of white wine in shock. He knows you are crazy but this kinda catches him off – guard. You look at Angie, dead in the eye, completely ignoring his existence. Angie raises her eyebrows. The sparkle in her eyes vanishes. Her smile slowly disppears. She takes a sip of her Apple juice. Apparently, she does not drink. People around the office call her wife – material.

‘We are both positive,’ you add.

‘What!?’ Stan interjects. His face turns into a crumpled mass of flesh. He glares at you menacingly

‘I’m just kidding, babe’ you comfort him, rubbing his biceps.

‘Excuse me,’ Angie says and dashes to the conveniences, her bottom see sawing behind her.

You drain your glass of whiskey on the rocks and yawn gently, covering your mouth like the mannered woman, oh, lady you are.

Problem solved. Angie will never Stan on your Stan again.

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